Monday, 5 June 2017

The Nominees Are ...

My wife and I enjoy Doctor Who, British comedians, and playing games. We often combine all three by playing ‘spot the comedian’ on Doctor Who.

Rufus Hound is the winner of the most finger-pointing-at-the-screen followed by cries of “Oh. Oh. That’s – that’s – Argumental – first name sounds like it’s coming from the last name (Roof roof – like a dog barking) – Rufus Hound!” Then the satisfied sinking back into the couch as if a marathon sex session had just occurred.

We were recently re-watching Dinosaurs on a Spaceship. The robots had more-than-familiar voices. My wife asked, “Those voices belong to a pair we know.”

I responded, “Yes, those are Robert and David.”

To which my wife queried, “Are you sure?”

As any man who has been married for any length of time will tell you, this is wife code for “I don’t believe you”.

So she looked it up on IMDb. “Nope,” she informed me. “You’re wrong.”

“Those two robots are Robert Webb and David Mitchell,” I insisted.

“Not according to IMDb. They’re Noel Byrne and Richard Garaghty.” She turned her laptop to show me.

“Well,” I said. “Then Noel and Richard are doing the best Mitchell & Webb impressions I’ve ever heard.”

Scrolling down the IMDb page, my wife made a discovery. “Oh, wait. Noel and Richard are the guys in the suits. You’re right. The voices do belong to David and Robert.”

It’s all well and good that IMDb is letting us know who the fellows in the suits are. It’s not an easy job and is often thankless. However, they are not the recognisable actors. They are not the ones causing people to point at the screen and say, “Oh. That’s –that’s – oh, who is that? Good thing there’s IMDb so I can look this up.”

Yes, the guys in suits (and girls, too) do act through their actions, but how many have one a BAFTA for doing so?

Is there even a BAFTA category for “Best Performance in a Robot Suit”?

I can see the people who work the Daleks and Cybermen going home after the awards ceremony. Their significant others meet them at the door and ask, “How did it go? Did you win?”

To which the dejected performers inevitably reply, “No, I lost again. Once again the award went to Jimmy Carr.”