Friday, 28 April 2017

Pirate Cats


Me: (running into the bathroom) What was that? What are you two doing now?

Cat 1: Arr. We be pirate cats.

Me: Pirate cats?

Cat 1: Arr. Yep.

Me: Why is that one wet?

Cat 1: She had to walk the plank.

Cat 2: She kicked me into the toilet.

Cat 1: She refused to learn her R B C’s.

Me: You mean her A B C’s.

Cat 1: You stow your loot where you want and I’ll bury my booty where I want.

Cat 1: Arr. Can I get a new parrot?

Me: What happened to the old parrot?

Cat 2: She ate it.

Cat 1: Let me out onto the deck.

Me: Why?

Cat 1: ‘Cause I needs to lay some logs.

Me: You’re not pooping on the deck.

Cat 1: Arr. Tis a poopdeck, is it not?

Me: No, it’s not. And that isn’t what a poopdeck is anyway.

Cat 1: Arr. If me back legs were wooden I’d be shiverin’ me timbers.

Me: What’s it going to take for me to end this nonsense.

Cat 1: Fish.

Cat 2: Yeah, fish.

Me: Fine. Follow me. I’ll give you some fish.

Cat 1: Victory!

Cat 2: But I don’t like fish.