We have two cats. One is older than the other and thus it falls to her to pass on the customs and practices of the cat world. The following is one I can do without. I'm sure other cat owners can relate.
Cat 1: Get him up.
Cat 2: Why me?
Cat 1: Because you’re hungry, right?
Cat 2: Yeah, I guess.
Cat 1: Right. Then get him up.
Cat 2: Dad. Dad.
Cat 1: No, no. That’ll never get him up. Jump on the bed.
Cat 2: Then what?
Cat 1: Make sure he’s still breathing. Check his breath.
Cat 2: How?
Cat 1: Stick your nose up to his lips. Make sure you lick your nose first so it’s good ‘n wet.
Cat 2: He flinched. Guess he’s still alive.
Cat 1: Not much reaction, though. Go to phase two.
Cat 2: What’s that?
Cat 1: Head butt him.
Cat 2: Okay. A bit more of a reaction, but still no movement.
Cat 1: Maybe you hit him too hard. Okay, time for phase three.
Cat 2: Which is?
Cat 1: Sit on his face.
Cat 2: Won’t that make him mad?
Cat 1: He never gets mad at Mom when she does it. And she’s a lot bigger than you.
Cat 2: He rolled over. Now what?
Cat 1: Go nudge Mom.
Cat 2: Why? Mom just rolls over and goes back to sleep.
Cat 1: Yeah, but when she rolls over she’ll elbow or knee Dad and he’ll move onto his back again.
Cat 2: Gotcha. Hey, it worked!
Cat 1: Told ya.
Cat 2: Now what?
Cat 1: Now I’ll join you so we can do “The Dance” in unison.
Cat 2: Ah, good plan.
Cat 1: Ready?
Cat 2: Yep.
Cat 1: Here we go - aim for just below his stomach -
Cat 1 & Cat 2: Bladder Dance! We’re dancing on Dad’s bladder! Get up now and feed us or we’ll make you wee the bed!
Me: I’m up. I’m up. Hey, where did you two go?
Cat 1: (innocently licking a forearm) Oh, hi Dad. Are you up?
Cat 2: (appearing from the other room) Hey, Dad’s up. Hi Dad. Love you Dad. How ‘bout some food?