Monday, 23 May 2016

Jay's Jokes - Part Four

My brother Jay has been feeding me jokes for a long time. Here are three from a long time ago.

When my brother and I were younger the Native Canadians were called Indians. This was a hold-over from when the early explorers landed on North America and thought they had reached India. I tell you this as it relates to the first joke.

Joke # 1

An Indian walks into a grocery store and asks the clerk for some toilet paper. The clerk says, "Here. Try this No Name toilet tissue."

The Indian thanks the clerk and leaves.

A few days later the Indian returns to the grocery store and is greeted by the clerk. "How did you get on with that No Name toilet paper?"

To which the Indian replied, "I have a name for it. I call it 'Lone Ranger Toilet Paper'."

"Why do you call it 'Lone Ranger Toilet Paper'?" The clerk asked.

"Because it's white. It's tough. And it don't take no crap off no Indian."

Joke # 2

A Brave was sent to the Medicine Man to get something to cure Big Chief No Fart's chronic constipation. The Medicine Man gave the Brave a concoction and advised him that the Chief must take a spoonful of the medicine every day for a week.

A week later the Brave returned to the Medicine Man.

"Well, how did it go with Big Chief No Fart?" Asked the Medicine Man.

To which the Brave replied, "Big fart - no Chief!"

Joke # 3

A young Native Canadian boy had a question for his Chief. "Elder," he asked. "Is it true that you are the one who names all of the new children?"

"Yes," replied the Elder. "As soon as the infant is delivered, I look to nature to choose their name. If I look out and see a bird on the wing, then the child will be called Soaring Eagle. Why do you ask, Two Dogs Humping?"

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