Monday, 11 August 2014

A is for Are You Kidding Me, Amazon?

This blog is not all about Amazon-bashing, but when they keep acting like totalitarian feminine hygiene products, it's hard not to point and say, "Look. The man with the potato on his penis (that's a dick-tator - that's a joke, son - why aren't you laughing?) is holding that cute mouse hostage."

I've heard of doing the Funky Chicken, but now it seems Bezo and his Bozos are dancing the Crazed Weasel.

Never mind taking on the crippled, limping publishers who have to keep amalgamating body parts from each other just to keep moving; now Amazon (who should really be headed by a woman, given its name - wait, did I uncover Jeff's secret giantess fetish? the world may never know - where's Springer when you really need him?) is taking on Disney.

I hope the Mouse bares its teeth and chomps Amazon like a tasty bit of cheddar.

What Amazon doesn't realize is that they are not just taking on one of the world's largest entertainment companies, they are also insulting and taking on fan boys and fan girls, as well as children and their parents. That's a staggering number of people Amazon is mooning. These aren't your regular, complacent consumers either. Marvel Comics fans, as well as Disney aficionados, are quite vocal. They know the power of the internet and do not shy away from having their voices heard; both in terms of opinions and where their money goes. And let's not forget the vocal power of children. They influence a parent's spending in ways Amazon has not even begun to imagine.

Stories I have read, and some I look forward to, include:

Amazon versus Apple & the Big 6 Publishers
Amazon versus Disney (or The Mouse That Roared so Loudly Jeff Lost His Shirt)
Amazon versus Sanity
Amazon and the Big Book of Oops

1 comment:

  1. Don't forget all the fans of Saturday Morning Cartoons. Mom


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